


Disclosure

by zukoslover



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4227297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zukoslover/pseuds/zukoslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan shares something from his past with his former apprentice. Set during the Clone Wars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disclosure

**Author's Note:**

> Hints of slashiness (or so I’ve been told) but I promise this really is a gen fic. Had some issues with some parts that I'm not too happy with, but figured I'd just post it anyway. Apologies for any errors or typos. 
> 
> Also, there are references to a previous mission which takes place in Karen Miller's books Stealth and Siege (I would definitely recommend them if you're a fan of Obi/Ani since it contains a lot of their interactions- I know some people don't like her but the books were enjoyable reads). Jedi Master Taria Damsin is an OC love interest of Obi-Wan's who appears in the books.

Obi-Wan collapsed heavily onto the bunk in his tent. Outside it was still pouring heavily, and the humidity cloyed and clung to his skin. The last few days had been wretched, with the wet and mud and sultry heat that came with the rain in tropical climates. His ground forces had been waiting to spring a surprise attack on the Separatists in the ongoing battle for the planet but things had come to somewhat of standstill- both parties were evenly matched and had thus chosen to employ more covert methods of attack. Obi-Wan’s patience was increasingly growing thin the longer they were forced to remain on planet, knowing how desperately they were needed elsewhere. Yet he and Anakin could not leave without alerting the enemy, which would dangerously shift the subtle balance they had created in the Separatists’ direction. The art of subterfuge meant miserable conditions but no respite from the work, as there was plenty of directing to be done for an army of this size to set up base. Right now, he was exhausted and craved nothing more than a hot bath to soothe his sore and aching muscles, which, alas, was not to be found here. 

He had just begun to work out the knots in his abused back when there was a sharp rap on the tent pole, followed by Anakin’s equally grim visage as he entered. As usual, thought Obi-Wan wryly as he nodded wearily at his friend, he hadn’t bothered to wait for Obi-Wan’s response. It simply did not occur to his old Padawan, who was used to having his Master at his beck and call, that perhaps Obi-Wan might occasionally be too indisposed to see him. Anakin’s grimace both acknowledged and agreed with his unspoken but palatable distaste for the planet’s weather. He settled down next to Obi-Wan and, after watching him for a few seconds, shook his head and stilled his hand.

‘Here, let me. You’re going to make it hurt even more like that- just watching you is painful,’ pronounced Anakin as he forcibly pushed Obi-Wan around until his back was facing him. 

‘It is rather difficult to massage one’s own back,’ Obi-Wan conceded, as he shrugged out of his tunic; his robes having been discarded a long time ago. He immediately felt a pleasant coolness as Anakin’s mechanical hand touched his back, which was cooler than his warm flesh. As his friend began his ministrations, Obi-wan had to admit this was far more preferable to his own attempts- the Jedi Knight was unexpectedly good at this. His hands were surprisingly gentle, if not soft, and possessed a controlled strength to apply enough pressure on the stiffer muscles. At some places it hurt as he worked out the kinks, and the soreness gradually started to dissipate. Obi-Wan would’ve moaned in pleasure had he been anyone else; he settled with a low hum of approval that made Anakin grin.

After a while Anakin declared his fingers were aching and so they sat side by side on the narrow cot in the darkened tent, sharing a drink and simply enjoying the others company. It wasn’t something they always had the time to do, but certain situations called for such coping mechanisms. The silence was comforting, borne of a friendship and understanding that transcended words, and neither of them felt inclined to break it. Eventually though, Anakin spoke.

‘I’ve been thinking...about our last mission a lot lately.’

‘Lanteeb.’ It wasn’t a question but Anakin nodded anyway. They had both been through so much on that mission, pushed to the very edge of their fraying limits.

‘About you and Master Damsin, I know you explained things, but I’ve been wondering..’ he trailed off. Obi-Wan raised a questioning brow, surprised that his friend would bring up Taria. Thinking about her was difficult, the wounds left by her loss still fresh.

‘All these years as your Padawan, and yet it was only recently that I found out about her. Before that, I didn’t even imagine you had women in your life.’ Anakin laughed humourlessly. ‘It made me wonder if there are..were..any others like her for you.’ Noting Obi-wan’s silence he hastened to add, ‘I know it’s not really my business, Obi-Wan, and I’ll leave it alone if you want. Only, well, we never really talk about it do we?’ 

‘No, that we don’t,’ murmured Obi-Wan. Padmé, lingered in the air between them, but it was an unspoken rule that they never brought up her relationship with his former apprentice. There was a lull as he considered the question, and Anakin waited. When Obi-wan eventually spoke his voice was low and controlled, but curiously emotional. 

‘Taria..I loved Taria but I was never in love with her. There were three others, though- one for whom I left the Order, another who brought me dangerously close to breaking my vows, and a third who caused me to brush with the Dark side. All three dead.’ Because of my failure, remained unsaid.

Anakin gaped at his former master. He appeared shocked into silence- for once. 

‘You-you left the Order? You, Master!’ Obi-Wan chuckled.

‘I was a very young Padawan and it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Her name was…Cerasi. I met her on a rescue mission to the planet Melida/Daan. I became infatuated, as much with her sense of idealism as with her.’ He faltered. He never spoke about the events that had transpired there for the memories were too painful. But he couldn’t stop now that he had started, so he soldiered on and retold the entire tale. His head was bowed low as he neared the end and recalled, in a few clipped sentences, the events leading to her death. ‘I couldn’t save her in the end, despite all my efforts. Her death haunts me at my every failure, a reminder of my own fallibility.’ His eyes were screwed shut, not wanting to face Anakin, or see his pitying gaze. A hand came to rest on his shoulder, warm and familiar. 

‘I never knew..To me, you’ve always been the perfect Jedi, incapable of disobeying orders or doing anything that went against the Jedi Order or the Code. Of making mistakes that can never be fixed. Like me.’ He paused, then said hesitantly, ‘Thank you for telling me about her. I know you didn’t have to.’

Obi- Wan nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He stood up to put away his drink, and Anakin clearly recognized the dismissal for what it was, for he made his way out. At the entrance to the tent he stopped and turned around.

‘You know it wasn’t your fault, right? There was nothing more you could have done- you didn’t fail, Master.’ Not waiting for Obi-Wan’s response, he strode out. 

The Jedi stared after his friend- he had never been able to convince himself that it hadn’t been his fault, and Anakin’s words didn't make him believe it either. But they did help slightly ease the weight on his chest. He lay back on the cot and closed his eyes, allowing the rhythmic sound of the dripping rain to lull him into sleep. His last thoughts before sleep took him were Anakin's words, echoing in his mind- You didn't fail, Master.


End file.
